You’re too Sensitive!

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (1)

If you’re sensitive you’re probably well accustomed to hearing phrases like “it’s not that deep” or “you take everything so personal”. This may be true! However for us sensitive folks it’s much more complex than just simply getting over ourselves. Deciphering between whether our emotional responses are valid verses taking things too seriously is very difficult to figure out (well for me anyways lol).

Hyper-sensitivity feels like being an unwrapped lollipop (weird analogy I know). You feel exposed to everything and easily contaminated. Negative experiences or words just stick to you and you have a hard time convincing yourself that it’s not worth your energy nor concern.

This affects different aspects of your life, especially when it comes to expressing your feelings in relationships (Family/Friends etc). There’s a fear of not being taken seriously or having your feelings undermined. Trying to build and maintain emotionally healthy relationships can often get complicated and draining. This can also have negative effects on your self-esteem. It can make you distrust of your own feelings and intuition, causing you doubt who you are as a person.

But despite the challenges, I believe being a sensitive person makes you extremely empathetic. Within a world that’s callous and unjust, being sensitive can be used as a tool to make a positive impact on the world. Growing up I was constantly told that I had to be ‘tough’ in order to survive and for the longest time felt like my sensitiveness made me a liability. Now I’ve started to see it as a blessing not a curse. When I get told that I’m sensitive, I can confidently admit to it without feeling shame or guilt about who I am. What has helped me get to this point is exploring ways to deal with it especially when I get overwhelmed by emotion.

For my fellow sensitive ones, I’ve thought of a few coping mechanisms that have helped me along the way:

  1. Establishing boundaries in relationships– People who are sensitive often have a hard time creating appropriate boundaries for themselves. There’s so many times that I’ve felt bad for saying what I will and will not accept because I felt like I would be considered “extra” or “too sensitive”. This led to me accepting unfulfilling relationships and caused a lot of distress.  Realize this, you decide what you will and will not accept within your relationships! Your needs are important no matter how trivial someone else may think they are. Don’t be afraid to set appropriate boundaries. It will save you a lot less emotional turmoil and constantly doubting yourself.
  2. Own your sensitiveness- The next time someone calls you sensitive to derail your feelings, turn around and say “yes I am sensitive”. Be proud of it! That way when someone tells your you’re being sensitive it will have minimal affect on your mood because you’ve already accepted that it’s part of who you are. Remember that your sensitiveness is a blessing not a curse.
  3. Find an outlet to express your feelings- I write my feelings down to filter through my thoughts and understand them better. This is really helpful especially when you have to make important decisions or confronted with conflict. Instead of reacting based on our immediate feelings, we get to make more informed and rational responses. If writing isn’t your thing, find a means to express your feelings, whether that’s confiding in someone, making music or painting etc. Do whatever helps you to deal with your feelings in a healthy, productive way.

Are you a sensitive person? How do you cope with your feelings?

Is there anything you would add to this list?  I Would love to know your thoughts..x

© 2018 Ashanty Alves All Rights Reserved

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6 thoughts on “You’re too Sensitive!

  1. I love when people can admit they are sensitive or sad or feeling hopeless. This world is trying to condition us to be emotionless drones so sensitive people who express the whole spectrum of emotion are refreshing.

    I am sensitive. And like you, I channel my emotions through writing. I also try to express myself when I’ve calmed down a bit rather than giving the one two knock out that I’ll most likely regret later.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree 100 percent! That’s why I feel like embracing our sensitivity is in some ways radical. I’m glad I’ve been able to find someone who can relate. I think it’s important for people like us to reflect on our emotions before we react/respond to certain situations. Thank you for commenting 💖

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I like your list, Ash – as a sentient being, I can really relate. It still kind of surprises me when less sensitive people make comments like “it’s not that deep,” or treat emotional responses as freakish. Maybe a valuable cultural shift will occur as more people are able to “own” being sensitive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading Leslie! I suppose it’s because they see things from a different lens but my problem with people who makes those comments is they don’t try to see things from the others perspective. I really hope so! I think a cultural shift is necessary to change political attitudes & injustice systems of oppression too. Once we do this, the world will be a better place. x

      Liked by 1 person

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