The Gratitude Journal: June 20′

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (6)

It’s June,

I’m so grateful to be alive, experiencing a new month. I’m thankful that despite being in a pandemic, I have remained safe and so have the people around me. I know that blessing is not afforded to everyone. 

I wish I could be ecstatic about this upcoming month but we are currently in a crisis right now. Not only are we still experiencing the Covid-19 pandemic and seeing people die at exponential rates, but we are also witnessing a global awakening to institutional racism and structural oppression.

I’m sick and tired of seeing black bodies being killed. This issue has existed for over 500+ years. Despite the changes and transitions, the root problem still exists. Inequality has not disappeared because we never dismantled the systems that continue to perpetuate the issue. Change won’t come from within the system. We need to start again, nationally, and globally.   

Even though this period is very distressing, there are things you can do to actively make a difference.

Here’s a list of things you can do:

 

Write- Release your anger, rage, sadness, and disappointment on paper

Self-care- Meditate, connect to nature, take a bath, read a book, watch a series, paint

Action- Donate to a cause, create change in your community, educate yourself & others

Energy cleansing- Cleanse your energy through dancing, long walks, prayer or exercising

 

I hope you all remain safe and have a great month. 

Black lives Matter! 

Love Ash, xx 

How to Overcome Feeling Envious at someone else’s Success

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (14)

Does other people’s success trigger feelings of inadequacy? You may find that you are genuinely happy for them but can’t seem to stop thinking about what’s going wrong in your life.

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all gone through a period where we’ve been unhappy or unsatisfied with how things are going in our lives. Confronting our insecurities can be difficult especially when we live in an age of highlight reels. As much as you may try to focus on your journey, it’s easy to get caught up in what other people are doing especially in the age of the internet.

Let’s be real, it can get frustrating when you see other people achieving successful milestones that you want to achieve, especially when you feel like you work hard. I’ll give you an example; you might be applying for countless jobs only to be met by rejection after rejection then suddenly you find out that your friend landed a massive offer in a company you wanted to work for. This can crop up feelings of comparison, inadequacy, and jealously.

It doesn’t make you a bad person if you are battling with negative feelings towards your friend. This indicates that you have personal insecurities that you need to address. You can change how you feel but you have to first become aware of your feelings so that you don’t project your insecurities onto others.

It’s easy to demonise people who find themselves envious at others. I believe that we need to remove those stigmas so we can have more honest and open conversations. The more authentic we are, the better chance we have of healing and creating healthier relationships. Some people genuinely want to celebrate other people’s successes but they find themselves battling with their insecurities.

If you are feeling envious, it’s not okay to:

  • Undermine someone else’s success to make yourself feel better
  • To undercut their success by copying them
  • To throw shade

Equally, it’s okay to:

  • Not feel super ecstatic about their achievements

How to cope when your friend’s success triggers you:

1. Journal- Write down your thoughts and ask yourself the following: How do I feel? What is this situation cropping up for me? What accomplishments have I made? What action steps can I achieve my goals? Or do I need to be more patient and trusting? Get to the route cause of the issue and find a solution to your problem.

2. Celebrate it- If you see that someone’s doing something you love, celebrate it. Tell them how happy you are for them and how much of a major accomplishment it is. Don’t keep quiet- that’s negative and bad energy. Even if your feelings don’t match your words, you are putting out the intention that you want to feel more of those positive feelings towards them. Additionally, making someone else feel good about their accomplishments might even make you feel better.

3. Weekly reminders- Go over your long term goals every week. This is a great reminder of where you are heading and why. When you are clear about the direction that your life is going, it becomes less important about the speed.

Reminders when feelings envious at other people’s success:

Your time will come- Just because it hasn’t happened for you yet doesn’t mean it won’t. If you keep working hard & smart, it’s almost inevitable that you will reap the benefits. Keep focusing on your vision & express gratitude for where you are now.

Gain peace with the present- You are where you been to be right now. There are still lessons that need to be learned, what that has to be done to get to where you want to be. There are still so many things you can be grateful for in your life. Don’t get caught up in another person’s journey that you can’t see the blessings in yours.

Managing expectations- Maybe your expectations for yourself are too harsh. Give yourself time to accomplish your goals and take into consideration other obstacles that may get in the way.

See the lessons- There’s always a lesson that can be learned. How can you learn from what they did? Where they in contact with certain people? Do you need to make those connections? Look at the action steps behind their success. Their success may have been a result of their hard work. What can you adopt (of course in YOUR way)?

A question to you:

What advice would you give someone who’s struggling with this?

I’d love to hear from you!

Love, Ash x 

A Gentle Reminder: You are Valuable

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Sending you a gentle reminder to you all today, 🌻

You can’t wait for others to see your worth for you to recognise that it’s inherent within you. You were born worthy, valuable and enough. You don’t need to do more, accomplish more, be more or less of anything to be valuable.

Give yourself permission to live by your terms, on your conditions regardless of what others think. The people who are meant for you will recognise how worthy you are.

I hope you are all doing well and staying safe during this period ❤

Question to you:

How are you currently coping with quarantine?

 

Love & Light, Ash x

Side Effects of Holding onto Resentment

Copy of Copy of The ugly truth about self love (3)

Do you currently hold resentment towards others?  Resentment typically arises when we feel an injustice has been committed towards us. A person who holds resentment may have felt personally attacked and subsequently allowed a grudge to fester. It’s common to hold resentment, however, when left unaddressed over a long period of time, it can become intoxicating and have a negative impact on a persons well being.

Resentment is a mental resistance to, a non-acceptance of, something which has already happened … an emotional rehashing, or re-fighting of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible–change the past.- Maxwell Maltz

One of the reasons why we hold onto resentment is in hopes that we never forget how they hurt us. We use the pain they inflicted on us as a memo to not get ourselves into a similar situation with that person or others again. Holding a grudge gives us comfort knowing that we never let them off the hook for what they did to us.

Additionally, we may have been accustomed to hold resentment as a tool for survival. Initially, it served the purpose of remembering potential dangers that can harm us. It helped us to create a blueprint in our minds of what to look out for and what not to expect.

It’s okay to mourn the lack of love you received from your parents or being overlooked by people you deeply admired. You don’t need to feel bad for holding a grudge. It’s difficult to forgive people for doing you wrong. When we trust someone and they do us wrong, it can have a huge impact on our ability to let our guard down with that person and others again.

What you Need to know about Resentment:

It hurts you more than it hurts the other person

You holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You end up spending precious time angry over something the other person may have already let go of.

You forget that people are human and are capable of change

 This, of course, doesn’t apply for all cases where you were abused or hurt by others, but in some instances, we hold anger towards people who have the capacity and willingness to change. When we hold resentment towards others, we are holding people hostage to our expectations of how they should and shouldn’t act.

You may be evading the healing process by holding onto resentment for years

 When we focus on what someone else has done to us, we distract ourselves from doing self-introspection. You may need to have an honest conversation with yourself, asking the following questions: Am I still putting these people on a pedestal? Where can I take accountability and ownership for what happened? If it was not my fault (young/ low self-esteem/ vulnerable) then maybe you can ask yourself something like; How can I practice forgiving myself for blaming me for what others did? Be honest about the healing work that needs to be done within you.

Why you must Let Go of Resentment:

You cannot control the behaviour of others

As much as we may try, we can’t control other people’s behaviours. Holding resentment will not change that person. They won’t be shamed into making any changes unless they decide to do that for themselves.

People are simply reflecting their level of consciousness

The person/people that hurt you are reflecting what they think about themselves. People have a different value system and they are just reflecting what they think is right/wrong. People causing you harm says more about them, not about you.

You deserve happiness

You deserve freedom and that is your birthright. You deserve to experience love and the wholeness of life. You deserve to let go of your personal freedom and well being. Resentment is poison for the body and takes up space which can be used to love yourself.

A Question to You:

Do you hold resentment? 

How did you let go of your anger towards someone?

I would love to hear your thoughts

Love Ash, xx

 

The Gratitude Journal: April 20′

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (5)

Hello loves,

I hope you are well and staying safe. I haven’t been that active on my blog lately and I miss this space so much. Life has been so crazy. As I’m picking up more responsibilities, I’m trying to balance everything and somehow factor in self-care. I love interacting with you all and reading your posts, so I am going to make an effort to spread love on this platform.

This month’s Gratitude Journal is about finding peace in times of uncertainty.

The quote that inspired this post:

‘If you can’t go inside, go outside’ -unknown

We are going through a turbulent time in the world right now. These times remind me exactly why I decided to create a monthly gratitude journal. At times when it feels like all hope is lost in the world, it’s important to gain perspective and try to find the positives and all the lessons out of devastation. 

The world is changing, and we are being forced to adjust. This period is causing many of us to confront parts of ourselves that were unaddressed. The things you formally identified are being put into question. There are only so many distractions you can depend on to fill a void until you are forced to confront your feelings and reality. We are so used to running on autopilot, going through the motions of life and being consumed with our small selves. This has been a big wake up call for humanity that events may occur that are beyond our control that we cannot always predict or anticipate. This period has caused plenty of devastation that I don’t want to overlook- people losing their lives, jobs lost, economies going down. Society must be reconstructed after this and I hope that we all move towards the direction of creating a more equitable society.

I invite you to see all the blessings at this moment. Go within yourself and use this time to really explore what’s going on inside of you. Do the creative projects you’ve always wanted to do. Explore aspects of yourself that are often repressed through the day to day workings of life. Find peace in your silence. This too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever so use this time wisely even if that looks like resting. See this has as a long vacation indoors. Perspective is everything. You are being tested to make the best out of a difficult situation.

Question to You:

How are you coping with self-isolation?

 

Love Ash, xx

 

Side Effects of Avoiding Negative Emotions

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (12)

Do you typically avoid negative emotions or embrace them? Embracing the complexities of the human emotional experience is a good thing. It helps you to build a healthy relationship with yourself by validating and allowing yourself to feel. Of course, not every feeling needs to be acted upon especially if you find yourself repeating unhealthy behaviours. However, avoiding any negative emotions is an act of violence against your well-being.

I often see that people conflating emotions outside of joy as being a bad thing. In my opinion, I believe that this is undermining and dismissive. It also shames people for feeling genuine emotions over real-life situations. As much as you may do your absolute best to feel great all the time, you are going to have crappy days. That doesn’t make you a negative person. Embracing your feelings and accepting them is a sign of emotional maturity. It demonstrates that you are validating your emotional experience.

Problem with emotional avoidance:

  • The feelings you suppress come out later in life as unaddressed pain
  • You may find yourself experiencing random outburst of sadness
  • You may subconsciously project your negative feelings onto others
  • You may be avoiding finding solutions to your problems

When you approach negative feelings with ‘stay positive’ rhetoric, you end up preventing yourself from feeling your feelings. Behind your emotions may be unaddressed pain that manifests emotions like sadness, anger, etc. When you don’t allow yourself to uncover the truth behind your feelings, thoughts, and actions, you distract yourself from doing necessary healing work.

Additionally, I am a firm believer that you can’t fool the universe. What you avoid will always find a way to confront you eventually. Your negative feelings can manifest in the people you attract, the situations you find yourself in and so forth. Wouldn’t you rather deal with the temporary discomfort of your feelings instead of taking months/ years to clean up the damage caused by suppressing your feelings? I would choose the first option!

Here are some tips on how to deal with your emotions:

  • Learn to hold yourself when feeling low- What would you say to a child who’s feeling low? You wouldn’t shut them down by saying ‘stay positive’ (well I hope not). You would try to affirm them maybe by saying that ‘it’s okay to be sad, but things will be okay’. Learn to comfort yourself just like you would to a child and assure yourself that things are going to be okay.
  • Breathe- Do some breathing techniques to calm yourself down. You could try the 4-7-8 breathing rule or any other ones that you may find useful.
  • Journal- Write about how you are feeling. Focus on writing down the situation and emotions that cropped up for you. Then write down what methods you can try to make yourself feel better.
  • Remind yourself of your values- If you haven’t already, write down your values. Are your actions/emotions currently in alignment with the type of person you want to be? This helps you to put things into perspective and reminds you that in the longer-term certain emotions shall pass.

Life comes in cycles. We must become comfortable in seeing our life that way. Some days are harder than others but that’s life. We truly need to have moments of sadness so we can understand and appreciate life and its joys. Acceptance is where you become emotionally healthy and therefore practice self-validation.

A question to you:

Do you avoid negative emotions or embrace them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

 

Much Love, Ash xx

Goal Setting Planner and Wellness Worksheets

LIFE PLANNER (3)Hello guys,

I have a special surprise for you all.

I have made 14 printable planners and worksheets for FREE to download. Get your  printable PDF worksheets here.

Each sheet is perfectly sized to print in A4 or A5 format.

You can print them on whatever paper you’d like including Matte Finish, Card paper.  

These all-encompassing worksheets are made to help organisation different areas of yourself to meet your personal goals. Worksheets are an amazing tool for self-reflection and exploration. Writing is an excellent tool for personal growth, healing, self-exploration and creative expression.

  1. Short Term Goals
  2. Long Term Goals
  3. Goal Setting
  4. Weekly To Do List
  5. The Gratitude Journal
  6. Challenging Negative Thoughts 1
  7. Challenging Negative Thoughts 2
  8. Trash Thoughts
  9. I Keep My Cup Full
  10. Journal Prompts 1
  11. Journal Prompts 2
  12. Journal Prompts 3
  13. Life Improvement Tips
  14. Life Improvement Checklist

Continue reading “Goal Setting Planner and Wellness Worksheets”

The Gratitude Journal: March 20′

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (8)

Hello loves,

We made it to another month! This month’s gratitude journal is about action to create the life we truly want to live. Before I get into it, I just wanted to have a moment to express gratitude for life itself. I am grateful for the opportunity to breathe and exist in the world. I am reminded that waking up each morning is not a given. I honour that blessing by striving to be my best self and being unapologetic about who I am. I choose to move in the direction of my life’s purpose even when I’m scared. Even when things don’t go according to plan, I trust in the divine timing of my life and that things will align in a way that’s best for me.

The theme of March is about action. Putting the work into creating the life we want to live. Shifting our mindset from complaining to finding solutions to our problems. It means asking, what action steps can I take address this issue? The time is now to act on manifesting the type of life that we want to create. The time is now to live every single day in alignment with our life’s purpose. Even if some days look like a crawl, we are being called to be in movement. Taking action doesn’t always require grand gestures. It can look like research, creating your first design or even going to a networking event. The most important thing is that we are in movement.

How long are you going to keep your brilliant ideas to yourself? We wait for the right time to execute ideas and continue to prolong taking action when the majority of the time, there’s nothing to wait for. We hold ourselves back from potential failures. I’d rather fail forward knowing that I tried, than hold onto an idea that the world didn’t even get to a chance to see. I say do it anyway. Keep moving, even if you are petrified.

I wish you all a blessed month ❤

Question to you: 

What are you grateful for this month?

Love Ash, xx

Accountability.

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It’s so much easier to identify the unhealthy behaviour in others than within ourselves. Be brave enough to look within yourself, acknowledge what’s there and begin to address it. Be compassionate with yourself in the process. Taking accountability for your actions, behaviours and situation is the first step to becoming the victor of your own story.

I believe that it’s important to take an inventory of your life from time to time. These are some questions that you can ask yourself:

Is your criticism or judgement of others, a reflection of your own insecurities?

What unhealthy behaviour traits do you want to let go of?

What is my current situation teaching me?

What lessons do I need to revisit?

What does taking accountability in my life look like to me?

Question to you:

Do you take accountability for your actions?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Also, follow me in Pinterest: ashalvesblog

Love Ash, xx