The Gratitude Journal: March 20′

March 2, 2020March 2, 2020 ~ Ash ~ 13 Comments

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (8)

Hello loves,

We made it to another month! This month’s gratitude journal is about action to create the life we truly want to live. Before I get into it, I just wanted to have a moment to express gratitude for life itself. I am grateful for the opportunity to breathe and exist in the world. I am reminded that waking up each morning is not a given. I honour that blessing by striving to be my best self and being unapologetic about who I am. I choose to move in the direction of my life’s purpose even when I’m scared. Even when things don’t go according to plan, I trust in the divine timing of my life and that things will align in a way that’s best for me.

The theme of March is about action. Putting the work into creating the life we want to live. Shifting our mindset from complaining to finding solutions to our problems. It means asking, what action steps can I take address this issue? The time is now to act on manifesting the type of life that we want to create. The time is now to live every single day in alignment with our life’s purpose. Even if some days look like a crawl, we are being called to be in movement. Taking action doesn’t always require grand gestures. It can look like research, creating your first design or even going to a networking event. The most important thing is that we are in movement.

How long are you going to keep your brilliant ideas to yourself? We wait for the right time to execute ideas and continue to prolong taking action when the majority of the time, there’s nothing to wait for. We hold ourselves back from potential failures. I’d rather fail forward knowing that I tried, than hold onto an idea that the world didn’t even get to a chance to see. I say do it anyway. Keep moving, even if you are petrified.

I wish you all a blessed month ❤

Question to you:

What are you grateful for this month?

Love Ash, xx

Accountability.

February 29, 2020February 29, 2020 ~ Ash ~ 5 Comments

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It’s so much easier to identify the unhealthy behaviour in others than within ourselves. Be brave enough to look within yourself, acknowledge what’s there and begin to address it. Be compassionate with yourself in the process. Taking accountability for your actions, behaviours and situation is the first step to becoming the victor of your own story.

I believe that it’s important to take an inventory of your life from time to time. These are some questions that you can ask yourself:

Is your criticism or judgement of others, a reflection of your own insecurities?

What unhealthy behaviour traits do you want to let go of?

What is my current situation teaching me?

What lessons do I need to revisit?

What does taking accountability in my life look like to me?

Question to you:

Do you take accountability for your actions?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Also, follow me in Pinterest: ashalvesblog

Love Ash, xx

Side effects of overextending yourself

Featured ~ Ash

Do you constantly put the needs of others before your own? Are you often compromising your personal peace to please others?

Too often have I placed the needs of others before my own, often exhausting myself in the process. I believe that helping others is extremely important, however I don’t believe it should leave us feeling burdened, fatigued and under appreciated.

Overextending is when you are putting too much of yourself into a situation, leaving you with less energy to pour into meeting your personal needs. Overextending is often done with the expectation that the person receiving the help will be pleased with the amount of effort you are giving. Chronic people pleasers often make it their personal responsibility to sacrifice their own needs, therefore burdening themselves, in an attempt to serve others.

People pleasers often feel obligated to make the life of others easier. However in an attempt to be caring and helpful, they end up neglecting their true desires to live holistically and prioritize their wellbeing.

These are the signs that you are overextending yourself:

Feeling burnt out

Not having enough energy to do things for yourself

Feeling resentful

Running out of resources

Potentially feeling used and unvalued
Restlessness and fatigue

Tips to help:

Say no more often- Politely decline when people ask for help and you cannot give it. There’s times where we simply don’t have the means/ energy or time to help. You are not obligated to inconvenience yourself to please others. Maybe saying no is the best thing you can say no the person asking so that they can become more self sufficient. It could even enable them to find the help with someone who is more suited to do so. Be clear and decisive. Your no is valid.

Communicate your needs- If you genuinely want to help someone but may not have the capacity in this moment then communicate a healthy compromise. Tell them what you can help out with or in what deadline.

Surround yourself with people who get it- If you have people who are considerate and respect boundaries, it’s easier to feel comfortable fully expressing your needs and desires. Find people who understand you and won’t consistently put in you a situation you feel uncomfortable with.

Self Reflection- Do you people please because you are scared of disappointing others? Start getting to the root reason why you feel compelled to put others first and your LAST!

Affirmations:

“My needs are valid and important”

“Before I check in on others, I need to first check in with myself”

“Saying no is a full sentence”

Questions to you:

Do you overextend yourself often?

How are you looking after your own needs first?

Much love, Ash xx

The Gratitude Journal; Feb 2020

February 25, 2020 ~ Ash ~ 14 Comments

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In the wake of the recent death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, it bought to people’s attention the fragility of life itself. We shy away from talking about death because it’s associated with pain, grief and loss. When a death occurs, it often puts things into perspective. You begin to think about how much people in your life mean to you.

I think we should welcome more conversations around death. It’s a human reality and part of the cycle of life. Life has no meaning without death. When we talk about death we open ourselves up to healing around our deceased loved ones. Our thirst for consumerism and fast paced living within capitalist culture makes it difficult to talk about the reality of death.

We need to talk about death so we can begin to experience death as a completion of life as a opposed to a loss of one. Death puts things into perspective and reminds us of the importance of moving in the path of creating the best lives for ourselves. It reminds us that we can’t allow our fears and insecurities to get in the way of living a joyful, loving, success, abundant life.

By acknowledging our eventual demise, we begin to have a new found appreciation for time and all forms of life around us. The thought that we are simultaneously dying whilst we are living means we are able to center ourselves, be our desired forms, manifest abundance in this life whilst we have it. You begin to live those moments with friends family. You allow a culture where we are able to mourn death of loved ones without feeling like the world has left them behind. You begin to life consciously in the now.

RIP Kobe Bryant, his Daughter, everyone that died in the crash & many more people who passed at such a young age.

Questions for Personal Reflection:

What would I do if I knew I had limited amount of time on this earth?

What contribution do I want to make on this earth?

If you were to die, what would matter the most to you?

What do you want to be remembered for?

Question to You:

What are you grateful for this month?

I would love to start a conversation around this topic.

Let me know your thoughts!

Love Ash xx

The importance of Self-Forgiveness

Featured ~ Ash ~ 22 Comments

Have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes? Or are you still holding onto what you wish you’d done differently?

Living in a constant state of guilt is tormenting. Your mind replays what you did wrong and how things could have been different. It leads to self-sabotage and negative self-talk. You can believe that you are not good enough for certain positive experiences because you weren’t able to change what happened. We may overcompensate to fix the issue but the thoughts still linger in our mind about how we messed up.

Guilt takes away our ability to practice self-compassion. You may end up using harsh words towards yourself as a form of punishment. Inflicting pain onto others somehow justifies ill-treatment towards ourselves to even the plain field.

At some point in our life, we might do something that causes harm (intentionally or unintentionally) to others. Having to deal with the reality that our actions have contributed to someone else’s pain is a hard pill to swallow. Forgiving oneself is a practice of self-preservation, kindness, compassion, and love. It’s a commitment that despite your mistakes, you will not give up on yourself.

The guilt arises when our actions are out of alignment with our values. If you value being kind, honest and respectful to others, being deceitful and malicious created an internal conflict. We know better but chose not to at that moment. Carrying guilt stops you from practicing self-redemption. We all can change, even when our actions are seen as ‘unforgivable’ in society’s standards.

Often the thing that we don’t forgive ourselves for, we would forgive others doing the same thing. Be willing to offer yourself the same level of compassion that you would to a friend. If you believe you have changed, you don’t need to hold yourself hostage to mistakes that were committed by an old version of you. If you had known what you knew now, you wouldn’t have done what you did- you made choices in the past at the level consciousness you had at the time. You know better now. Be willing to see this situation differently. Your mistakes have given you clarity about the type of person you want to be and the situations you will avoid next time. Some life lessons are harsh but necessary to become a better version of ourselves.

How to Forgive Yourself:

Be honest with yourself

What situation do you hold guilt about? Have an honest conversation with yourself about what you feel guilty/ shame about and how it makes you feel.

Admit your messed up

Self-acceptance is a practice of self-love. You need to accept that you messed up and take full accountability for that situation.

Practice self-compassion

Check if you are missing something. Did you know everything about a situation at hand or was you not in the mind frame to comprehend the harm you caused? Was fear one of the reasons why you made the decision you did? Offer yourself some compassion for not knowing what you know now.

Apologise to anyone who you hurt

Take a risk and contact the person you hurt and apologise. Tell them exactly what actions you take accountability for and why. However, don’t hold onto the expectation that they will be forgiving. Give the person space to express their feelings and don’t go on the defensive. If you are struggling with forgiving yourself for allowing someone else to inflict pain onto you, maybe write an ‘I’m sorry for’ letter to yourself.

Write yourself an apology

Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself.

Give yourself time

It’s okay to feel guilty for what you did. When a situation happens it’s difficult to move on especially if it’s life-altering. Give yourself the time and space to let go of the past. Start by being more present every day and reminding yourself of why you deserve to self-forgiveness.

Quotes of Self Forgiveness:

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know until you lived through it. Honour your path. Trust your journey. Learn, grow, evolve, become.” – unknown.

“Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight”- Judy Belmont

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives”- unknown

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. – Louise L. Hay

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” — Maya Angelou

“I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.” – C. S. Lewis

Discomfort- A shift is happening

Featured ~ Ash ~ 12 Comments

Hey guys,

I hope you are having a blessed 2020 so far. I wanted to share my thoughts some of my thoughts with you. January has been great so far but I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable. Am I the only one or have you been feeling the same?

I feel like there’s a universal shift going on and we are being forced to make changes. Old ways of thinking and being no longer serve a purpose in our lives. We are being called to let go of things, people, patterns that no longer add value to our lives. We are being called to look into the foundations we have built over time and reconstruct what no longer works.

We are feeling more uncomfortable doing things that we once we accepted and possibly enjoyed. We are being called to let go of those excuses that kept us away from our true lives calling. We are being called to hold ourselves more accountable.

Sometimes we have to go through discomfort for a better version of us to emerge. Don’t give up in this period of discomfort. Hold on and trust the process. What is coming will be grander than what’s past.

Question to you:

What are you being called to let go of and embrace in this new year?

Would love to hear your personal reflections!

Love Ash, xx

The Gratitude Journal: Jan 2020

January 1, 2020January 1, 2020 ~ Ash ~ 18 Comments

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New year. New Decade. New Beginning.

We have entered a new decade. Who knows what it’s going to bring? The only thing we know for sure is that we can do our best to make this year the best one possible!

The time is now to go after our hearts true desires. Yes, it’s going to be difficult and there’s going to be tough moments. When faced with adversity, we should choose to use it as fuel to go after our heart’s desires. We make a choice this year to step fully into our power and use every failure as a stepping stone to achieving our greatest victory.

We go full force into our creative endeavours. We let go of our need to self-sabotage and we reclaim the magic within us. We unapologetically show up in the world and demand respect. We aim to do things daily that are in alignment with our best interests and move us closer towards our goals. We choose to surround ourselves with loving friendships. We get up close and personal with our shadow side and do the personal work to become a better person. This year is not only about learning but also about remembering the lessons from the past to create a brighter future.

We are being called to go beyond what is comfortable to achieve greatness and to fulfil our purpose on this earth. Allow yourself to fly in 2020.

Question to you:

What are you looking forward to this year?

I hope you have a blessed New Year ❤

Love Ash, xx

Embrace

Featured ~ Ash ~ 16 Comments

New decade mantra:

Instead of resisting, we are learning to embrace. We are no longer allowing disappointment to stop us from living the life we truly desire. We use our pain as fuel to live our highest, grandest life possible. We understand that life comes in seasons and instead of resisting change, we embrace it. The past decade has come with many life lessons. In the new decade, we utilize the knowledge acquired in the last one to become a better, more wiser human beings. We embrace, stay hopeful and go after our hearts true desires.

I wish you all a blessed new year 🌷🌷

Love Ash, xx

Intention Setting for the New Year 2020

Featured ~ Ash ~ 44 Comments

Copy of Copy of The ugly truth about self love

It’s the end of the year and you may be thinking about all the goals you want to achieve in the next year. But have you thought about your intentions behind your wanting to accomplish those goals?

Intention setting is when you ensure that all your goals are in alignment with your values and the core of who you are. Intention setting puts more meaning and purpose behind your goals. An example of this could be gaining your driving license. It becomes less about just passing the test but about wanting a vehicle to give you a sense of freedom to uproot and explore multiple places.

Benefits of Intention Setting:

Intention helps you avoid falling into the comparison trap. You gain a wider perspective as to why you want to achieve your goals. You become less consumed in appeasing the masses and more focused on meeting your targets. The acquisition of your goals becomes less material or status-driven but more about satisfying one’s soul’s desires.

Intentions are important because they remind us of the reasons why we want to achieve certain goals when things get tough. When you want to give up you can remind yourself of why it was important for you to achieve that goal. Having a business is less about the title of an entrepreneur but more about providing financial freedom for your family to there’s more joy.

Intention setting allows you to raise your vibrational energy by penetrating your psyche and providing a sense of hope, optimism to help you manifest your goals.

Additionally, intention setting makes your goals more possible. If you have a big goal you want to accomplish, it’s much harder to stay consistent when the going gets tough. If you set intentions behind your goal, it feels much more realistic and attainable to achieve. This is where the law of attraction comes into play. You set the intention for what you want, match your daily practices so that you become aligned with that goal each day. The universe will put you in the path of achieving that goal.

As the new year is coming, don’t forget to set your intentions. Ask yourself the following questions:

How does my goal align with my purpose?
What values am I practising with this goal?
How does achieving this goal feel in my body?

Today’s challenge:

Start your day with “ dear universe my intention today is to…”

A question to you:

What intentions are you setting for 2020?

I’d love to hear your answers!

Love Ash, xx