The Gratitude Journal: March 19′

 

 

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It’s March guys!

The year is already flying by. Before we get stuck into another month, let’s take a moment to appreciate the blessings in our life. This month I want to show appreciation for my friendships.

Friendship has always been a sour spot for me as for a long time I felt unfulfilled in this area of my life.  Finally I am in a space where I feel content with the connections I’ve been able to build and the acquaintances that have entered my life. I feel loved like never before- but mostly because I have more love for myself. I am in a space with my friendships where we value each others boundaries, share love and joy and aren’t afraid to have honest conversations. I am extremely grateful for healthy friendships.

I am thankful for being able to have friends who continue to inspire me. I am thankful for the times they listened to me and gave me the space to express myself when I needed it the most. I am thankful for their honesty which taught me about myself and aided my own self-discovery. I am appreciative of the effort they have made into preserving a friendship with me, and showing up. I am thankful for having the opportunity to be in their lives and be chosen by them. I am grateful for being able to share joy laughter, happiness and sadness. I am grateful for the select few who support my creative endeavours and remind me of my powers. I am thankful for those who choose to be patient with me and for continuing to meet me half way.

Question to you:

What are you grateful for today?

Is friendship important to you and do you feel loved by your friends?

Thanks for stopping by!

Love and hugs, Ash xx

 

 

 

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Trust Your Timing

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (3)

Do you believe that you’re going to achieve your goals? If so, then why do we get impatient when things are not happening fast enough? Having faith that you will reach your goals is fundamental for achieving success. However, it’s easier said then done when you constantly see other people achieving these amazing things and you are not even close to reaching your goals.

When you’re not where you want to be in life and feel like things aren’t manifesting in the way you envisioned, it can make you lose hope in the process. I think for my generation (18-30’s), there’s a huge amount of pressure to live your “best life” at such a young age. Social Media has played a huge role in the pressure to be successful. On a daily basis, we are constantly reminded of people’s riches and success. We barely see people sharing their struggles. All we see is the finalized ‘image’ of what success looks like and this drives us to feel impatient with our own journeys.

Additionally, social media has afforded people the opportunity to establish themselves and making a living through platforms like YouTube and Instagram. The downside of social media is phenomenon’s like ‘overnight celebrities’ where we’d see people becoming popular and as a result, using their leverage to achieve their financial/business goals. Seeing people reach success almost effortlessly added to the growing impatience some of us feel with our own progress. Reaching instant success is way more appealing than having to put in the work to achieve your goals, so it’s no wonder why many of us find ourselves so impatient.

However social media isn’t entirely to blame for this phenomenon. The desire to want things ‘now’ is also rooted in our economic system. Everything we want is mostly at the click of a button. We live in a consumer society which values instant gratification. The reality is there’s so much pressure and it’s difficult navigating life without feeling like you have to meet certain expectations.

There’s so much pressure…pressure from society, ourselves and others. Therefore when you’re doubting your journey, it’s really important to remind yourself of a few things that will make you feel better.

When you’re doubting yourself and feeling impatient with your journey remind yourself of these 6 things you can do:

1. Stop watching others- The phrase  “Water your own grass” applies perfectly here. You need to be so focused on trying to make your dreams a reality that other people’s success doesn’t make you question yourself. Comparing yourself to what other people are doing is only going to make you feel worse about your progress. Pour all the energy you spend watching other people’s success into your own and watch your seeds blossom into something unimaginable.

2.  Take a step back- Don’t be afraid to take some time out to reflect on your progress. Taking time away to re-strategize helps us see things in a fresh new lens and may give us answers to what is required to achieve your goals. This also helps spark creativity and give you the energy you need to propel forward.

3. Go over your goals- Remember those goals you wrote down? Make it a daily or weekly practice to remind yourself of those short/long term goals. This will help remind you of the bigger picture and give you hope that you can transcend your current obstacles.

4. Celebrate every milestone, even if it’s small- Make it a regular practice to celebrate yourself, even for the little things. For example, say to yourself; “I am proud of myself for posting a new blog post or I’m glad I spoke up at work today because that’s improving my confidence skills”. All those small things should not go unnoticed because a bunch of small victories is what will eventually result in you achieving a bigger goal.

5. Write down your WHY or figure it out (define your purpose)- You need to figure out your intentions behind why you want to achieve that said goal and make it a practice to remind yourself of it every day. Maybe you want to achieve financial freedom because you want to provide for your family or you might really want transform other peoples lives. Whatever is it, reminding yourself of the purpose will help ease you through times of uncertainty.

6. Reach out to others- If you’re feeling low about yourself, reach out to someone. Often times we convince ourselves that we are the only ones going through these struggles. By reaching out to others, it can help put things into perspective and restore confidence in ourselves. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, try finding a support group or a workshop to connect with people who are trying to achieve similar things as you. (or you can always contact me if you need someone to talk to)

Affirmations for Daily Practice:

“What is mine is always for me”

“I trust God’s timing”

“My struggles add character to my success story”

“The universe is aligning right now to work in my favour”

Quote on Trust your Timing:

“Just because it hasn’t happened for me yet doesn’t mean it won’t. There’s always room for me to succeed. It doesn’t matter if someone got there faster than me…what is for me will not miss me. I live by my own timing and will not be rushed by others. I choose long term gratification overnight short time success.” -ashalves

Thank you for reading!

 

Questions to you: Do you have goals that you are working to accomplish?

Do you believe you can achieve it?

 

Love Ash, xx

 

The Gratitude Journal: February 2019

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate

(Photo taken by me, Spain Catalonia 2019)

Isn’t it beautiful knowing that everyday is a new day?

The sun rises each day to reminds us that everyday we have the opportunity to truly shape the course of our life. From the moment we wake up we get to decide how we choose to lead our lives and how we react and respond to circumstances around us. A new day is another chance to start again.

I am grateful that I’ve been able to wake up today and given another chance to start again. A new day should remind us that despite our negative experiences, we get to decide how we choose to live our lives in the present moment. We don’t have to be confined by our past or defined by the choices we’ve made previously. You are not here by coincidence- you woke up to fulfil a purpose. You get to choose how to make the most out of the day that’s available to you!

What are you looking forward to this month?

What are you grateful for today?

I would love to know!

Love Ash, xx

 

Toxic Friends

copy of the ugly truth about self love (3)

The company we keep plays an important role in our lives. A good friendship should consistent of these overarching characteristics; supportive, considerate, trustworthy, generous, honest and understanding. Great friends growth together. They should make you feel good inside. They share moments of joy and are great support systems.

But what about if your friend/s are toxic? Unfortunately many of us have experienced a toxic friendship. If you have never experienced a toxic friend then you’re extremely lucky or…delusional lol! When a certain friendship becomes detrimental to your well-being and puts you in a negative space, you have to consider whether the friendship is worth maintaining or not. This is not an easy process especially when you extremely care for that person and once had close friendship.

This is something I’ve personally experienced. I found myself feeling like certain friendships became more like a chore. I never felt like they supported my endeavours and that they would project their insecurities onto me. Friends should never make you feel like you’re not good enough or that your feelings do not matter. I often felt compelled to maintain our friendship because they have previously shown me care and had them for a significant period of time. But when I started to attract people in my life that were loving, considerate and caring, I realised how dysfunctional a few of my  friendships were and decided that I had to make changes in order to preserve my well-being.

However, saying all of this I have also been a toxic friend! As painful as it is to admit it, I am guilty for the very things I’ve experienced. We don’t like to admit when we are the problem however in order for us to grow we have to hold ourselves accountable and live in our truth. I have been that jealous, un-supportive, bitchy, negative friend. The reasons why I was so toxic was because I was unsatisfied with the person I was inside. The way I treated others was mostly a reflection of how I felt about myself.  When you are a toxic person, it’s common to believe that you’re a great friend who does little wrong. It’s very important that we sit with ourselves and analyse how we interact within our friendships. Admitting that you’ve made mistakes is the first step for transforming yourself and becoming a better person and friend to those around you.

I’ve stood on both sides of the fence- being the toxic friend and having toxic friends. Because of this I feel like I can offer some humbling advice.

Your friend is Toxic:

Signs that they’re toxic: don’t support your endeavours, gaslight you, picks on your personality, thrives off of your insecurities, projects insecurities onto you, lack empathy, untrustworthy, gossipy, self-centred, stubborn, rude to you, doesn’t admit when they’re wrong.

Words of advice:

  • You deserve to have friends who genuinely supports and shows you love (not just says it). You are not obligated to settle for less than you deserve within your friendship. You shouldn’t accept abusive behaviour under the guise of ‘love’. Ultimately you get to choose the company you keep. You have agency over your life and get to either create a circle of friends who are helping or hindering your growth.

 

  • If being around them makes you feel negative then you need to seriously consider distancing yourself or removing them from your life. Growth takes some people time and your friend probably isn’t a bad person. In fact you’ve probably shared plenty of great moments together in the past. Experiencing good times with someone or knowing someone for a significant period does not give them an excuse to treat you badly. Your needs and desires come first and you should be selfish in preserving that. There’s people out there who will be loving, supportive and trustworthy, so you are not obligated to settle for those who don’t.

You are the toxic friend:

Signs that you’re toxic: you put your insecurities onto them, you’re not supportive, you gossip about them, you’re possessive, you’re unforgiving, you don’t admit when you’re wrong, you copy them, you don’t ask them how they are, you undermine their goals.

Words of advice:

  • When you put your friend down and have something negative to say about them, most of the time it’s only  mirroring your own insecurities. It might make you feel better finding flaws in someone so you don’t have to deal with your own insecurities, but you’re the only person who loses in the situation. The next time you find yourself feeling triggered by someone’s achievements, ask yourself whether you are 100% satisfied within that area of your life. Chances are you are not. Figure out what’s missing inside of you that’s causing you to act this way. What do you need to do more of to feel better about yourself?  If you truly love your friend and yourself, you’d take some time out to become a better you. Use those feelings as a guide to where you need to work and develop on yourself.

 

  • You are probably an amazing person deep down inside who is currently going through a difficult time. That being said, you going through something doesn’t mean you can’t apologise for the ways you’ve hurt others. If you’ve really hurt someone you should admit when you’re wrong and say sorry. Even if your apology is not accept by them, accept and forgive yourself. The best form of apology is by demonstrating that you can be better.

In conclusion

Ultimately the message is if we love ourselves more we will naturally treat others better and we would expect better from the company we keep. Keep people around you where love is reciprocated, where you both want to grow and glo together.

Questions to you:

Have you had a toxic friend?

Have you been a bad friend to someone?

I would love to hear your experiences & thoughts.

Love Ash, xx

 

 

January 2019: The Gratitude Journal

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (11)

It’s the first month of 2019! I just want to send out a gentle reminder to kick start the year

Every experience of rejection you face brings you closer to yourself. Do you know why? Because it forces you to decide whether to base your worth on that negative experience or use it to strengthen your self-belief. You have two choices in the face of rejection- either you stay knocked down or get back up and try again. Turn all that rejection into a muscle of determination and self-belief. Use it to become ruthless. Knocked down 7 times stand up 8!

Rejection is hurtful, I know, but it’s a part of life. Instead of seeing rejection as your worst enemy, you should see it as the perfect opportunity for personal development. Remember that rejection is leading you towards something more profound.

I will be practising this myself in 2019. I am making a declaration to no longer allow rejection to stop me from pursuing my goals.

Who’s with me? 

Love Ash, xx