Holding Yourself Accountable

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (22)

Do you know someone who just cannot seem hold themselves accountable for their actions? Or is that person you? They convince themselves that they did nothing wrong and even see themselves as victims to the actions of others.

Holding yourself accountable forces you to see how you may have contributed to an undesirable outcome or how your actions may be the reason why a certain event transpired. This may be scary for some which is why people find it easier to shift the blame or victimise themselves. People avoid holding themselves accountable because it would mean having to take a step back to look at the undesirable parts of our actions and take responsibility. 

This poses the threat (though it doesn’t need to) to how we perceive ourselves. For example if you identify as a kind person, but do something that’s unkind, you may feel like you’re not living up to who you are. The labels we identify with ‘kind, empath, family person, great lawyer’ etc, make us feel pressured to live up to their expectations. When we fall sort of the expectations we impose on ourselves, we may find ourselves feeling guilty, worthless and unable to separate what we did from who we are.

Holding yourself accountable doesn’t have to threaten your identity. You don’t have to feel like a ‘bad person’ because you had a lapse in judgement. Making a mistake doesn’t mean that you ARE your mistake. Your identity expands beyond what you’ve done wrong.

Holding yourself accountable isn’t synonymous with self blame. You don’t deserve to punish yourself because you got something wrong. It’s about recognising that you made a lapse in judgement and acknowledging the role you played in the situation.  

Reasons why holding yourself accountable is important:

  • It allows you to take your power back- By holding yourself accountable, you are recognising what you have control over and thus empowering yourself to make better changes. When you stay in victimhood, it makes it harder to recognise what you need to do differently to ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
  • It allows you to be your higher self & experience soul growth- Your higher self recognises how powerful you are. It advocates for you to make decisions that are in your higher interest. When you hold yourself accountable, you align with your higher self which allows for the best version of you to emerge.
  • It helps to validate other people’s feelings- When you hold yourself accountable, you remove some of the blame from others. It’s only fair in situations where you participated in a situation going sour that you acknowledge the role you played. By holding yourself accountable, it helps other people in their journey to self-forgiveness.
  • It helps you to lead a more satisfying life- Accountability helps us to realise that we are co-creators of our reality. Therefore, if we want to change our lives, we have to use the power that we possess to make changes so that we experience joy and abundance.

To grow and develop as a person, you need to hold yourself accountable for your actions. When you are accountable, you begin to take an active role in living a fulfilling life. You pour into all areas of your life that need improving because you recognise that you have the power to do so. To experience real joy, you’ve got to be brave enough to hold yourself accountable.

Questions to You:

  1. Do you hold yourself accountable?
  2. Why is it important to hold yourself accountable?

 

The Struggles of an Empath

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (11)

Being an empath is a superpower. We can frequently sense other people’s emotions often without them having to explain themselves. The people who have made a positive impact on this world are most likely empaths. The ability to be considerate, compassionate and harmonising truly makes us empaths blessings to humanity.

Definition- “an empath is someone who absorbs other people’s emotions because of their high sensitivities”.

But what are the cons of being an empath? In a world with so much pain and suffering, being an empath can be exhausting, to say the least. Not only are we confronted with our personal issues, we constantly feel the pain of other people’s problems.  I love being an empath but recently I’ve noticed how my self sacrificing ways has caused me to neglect my personal needs. My inability to say no out of fear that I will be disappointing others has resulted in feeling burnt out and drained. I’ve exhausted my time and resources to help others when the same was never reciprocated. Wanting to wear a cape and help everyone with their problems is virtually impossible.

To use our empath power in an empowering way, I thought it’d be interesting to explore the negatives of being an empath.

Unhealthy side of being an Empath:

Overthinking – Misinterpreting someone’s mental state. Even though we tend to be highly intuitive, sometimes our perceptions are wrong. Constantly trying to figure people out and imposing on them what we think they are feeling can prove annoying and draining for the person on the receiving end.

Overanalyzing- Similar to the previous point. Sometimes things are as they seem and don’t need much more analysis. Things like a disagreement with a friend or family member can easily turn into a long-winded battle within ourselves over what went wrong. Overanalyzing can result in us being unnecessarily harsh on ourselves especially when we think we’ve done something wrong. Self forgiveness is harder to practice for empaths who care deeply about people’s feelings.

Boundaries- Not being able to implement healthy boundaries with others. Typically empaths attract emotionally draining people who often pour onto them all their issues. Empaths becomes an emotional blanket for those who are egotistical and self-serving. We find ourselves in unbalanced relationships and tend to feel like we are giving much more than we are receiving.

Saying no- Empaths find it more difficult than the average person to say no because they are highly receptive to the emotions that result in disappointing others. We end up exhausting ourselves trying to please others around us. Saying yes to everyone often leads us to say “no” to our self-care. Our inability to turn things down makes empaths feel unsatisfied and drained.

Evolved Empaths

Learning the possible negatives of being an empath helps us to use our empath traits in an empowering and self-fulfilling way. I am learning that I am not responsible for other people’s moods and I don’t need to absorb their emotions. I have a skill for understanding other people’s emotions and I use that as a tool to create community and have genuine interactions.

5 Affirmations for Empaths:

1.Setting boundaries is a self-care ritual. When I express my boundaries, I am honouring my integrity and standing in the truth of who I am and what I deserve.

2. Saying no allows me to communicate realistic expectations of myself. I trust the universe will guide others and bring them in the path of someone else who is assigned to help them.

3. I allow myself to go into nature to be recharged. I take time out for self-care rituals and make a conscious effort to be present to avoid being overwhelmed by emotions. I make space for relaxation without feeling guilty.

4. I let go of the idea that I can fix everyone and allow others to be. I realise my own limits and let people figure out things themselves. I make peace with the fact that some things can’t be ‘fixed’ and that people need to go through certain things for their own personal growth.

5. I allow positivity to enter my life. I express gratitude daily and celebrate my joyful moments. I release the need to fester onto negative experiences and let go of the need to hold onto pain. I allow myself to experience joy in its entirety because that’s what I deserve.

A Question to you: 

Are you an empath? 

 

I always love to hear your thoughts!

Blessings, Ash xx