Be clear about Who You Are!

Hey loves,

It’s been a few weeks since I stopped by. I’m attempting to balance other priorities whilst giving myself space for my creative expression without imposing a deadline. I’m giving myself permission to go off schedule. We are still in a pandemic. I’m letting go of the idea that I need to constantly produce content to feel valued and worthy. I miss posting but these breaks have allowed me the space to nurture other creative expressions.

Anyways back to the purpose of this post. We’ve only got 6 months left until the end of 2020. I feel like there’s a global shift of consciousness happening right now in the wake of Covid-19 and Black Lives Matter. One of the main lessons I learned over the past couple months is that life is short. It’s time to let go of expectations of how we should or shouldn’t live. It’s time to stop silencing ourselves about oppression and speak up. Life is too short to be straggling the fence and playing it safe.

There’s no more time to stay in the shadows, going through like trying to please everyone. It’s time to use your voice to stand for something, whether that’s publicly or privately. It’s time to align your actions with what you stand for. It’s time to let go of these facades that we’ve been holding onto for protection. You won’t be for everyone. Stop trying to be! ⠀

It’s 2020!! You need to start getting clear about the following:

  1. Who are you? ⠀
  2. What do you stand for?⠀
  3. What causes do you align yourself with?

Of course your answers are going to shift overtime as you find new ways to redefine yourself. However you need to start getting clear about who you are right now. When you don’t know YOU, you will lose yourself trying to be for everyone. ⠀

NEW CONTENT 2020 (33)

A Gentle Reminder:

Anyone who doesn’t respect who you are doesn’t deserve you. ⠀

Anyone who relies on your silence to make them feel comfortable doesn’t deserve you. ⠀

Anyone who tried to diminish your accomplishments doesn’t deserve you. ⠀

 

Question to you:

  1. What are you grateful for?⠀

 

Love Ash, xx

A Gentle Reminder: You are Valuable

Copy of Pintrest graphics (36)

Sending you a gentle reminder to you all today, 🌻

You can’t wait for others to see your worth for you to recognise that it’s inherent within you. You were born worthy, valuable and enough. You don’t need to do more, accomplish more, be more or less of anything to be valuable.

Give yourself permission to live by your terms, on your conditions regardless of what others think. The people who are meant for you will recognise how worthy you are.

I hope you are all doing well and staying safe during this period ❤

Question to you:

How are you currently coping with quarantine?

 

Love & Light, Ash x

The Gratitude Journal; Feb 2020

I'm thankful, grateful, appreciate (3)

In the wake of the recent death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, it bought to people’s attention the fragility of life itself. We shy away from talking about death because it’s associated with pain, grief and loss. When a death occurs, it often puts things into perspective. You begin to think about how much people in your life mean to you.

I think we should welcome more conversations around death. It’s a human reality and part of the cycle of life. Life has no meaning without death. When we talk about death we open ourselves up to healing around our deceased loved ones. Our thirst for consumerism and fast paced living within capitalist culture makes it difficult to talk about the reality of death.

We need to talk about death so we can begin to experience death as a completion of life as a opposed to a loss of one. Death puts things into perspective and reminds us of the importance of moving in the path of creating the best lives for ourselves. It reminds us that we can’t allow our fears and insecurities to get in the way of living a joyful, loving, success, abundant life.

By acknowledging our eventual demise, we begin to have a new found appreciation for time and all forms of life around us. The thought that we are simultaneously dying whilst we are living means we are able to center ourselves, be our desired forms, manifest abundance in this life whilst we have it. You begin to live those moments with friends family. You allow a culture where we are able to mourn death of loved ones without feeling like the world has left them behind. You begin to life consciously in the now.

RIP Kobe Bryant, his Daughter, everyone that died in the crash & many more people who passed at such a young age.

Questions for Personal Reflection: 

What would I do if I knew I had limited amount of time on this earth?

What contribution do I want to make on this earth?

If you were to die, what would matter the most to you?

What do you want to be remembered for?

Question to You:

What are you grateful for this month?

I would love to start a conversation around this topic.

Let me know your thoughts!

Love Ash xx

How to overcome feeling not good enough

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (7).png

Are you struggling with not feeling good enough? No matter how much you accomplish or try, you still feel this lingering feeling of not being enough. You might be in a perpetual cycle of doing things to fill a void to distract yourself from feelings of unworthiness. 

Typically the narrative we tell ourselves about not feeling good enough derives from our upbringing. If you are fed messages by your caregivers that you are enough and valuable, you are more likely to have that foundation of self-acceptance and worthiness. If you were raised in an environment where you were criticised and felt like you had to shrink parts of who you are, you’re more likely to struggle with low self-esteem. However, it isn’t always this binary. Some people come from loving backgrounds who still suffer from not feeling good enough because of other negative experiences such as social media, bullying or even academic pressures. We are not born with feeling not good enough, we are taught to think that way about ourselves as a result of negative experiences we go through in life. 

Overcoming feeling not good enough is a process that takes times. When we’ve become accustomed to that feeling for such a long time, our brain convinces us that it’s a part of our reality which is non-fixable. By letting that narrative of unworthiness win, we cheat ourselves out of opportunities that will make us feel loved, valued and that invites emotional healing.  However, just because you don’t feel good enough right now doesn’t mean that you can’t change the narrative. You can choose to take control of how you think about yourself. 

Three reminders for when you don’t feel good enough:

1.  You are enough- You were born enough and nothing can take that away from you. Sometimes circumstances arise which make us doubt who we are. When we are used to disappointment, it reinforces that narrative that we aren’t enough for good opportunities, love or abundance. We believe that if we acquire more things, or become more of something else we would become more worthy. In a society where our value is closely tied to our status, material possessions, it’s normal to feel like this. Just because you don’t feel good enough in the present moment doesn’t mean that you always will.

2.  Comparison is the thief of joy- Not everyone has it all figured out. No one is in your lane and no one is your competition. When you compare yourself, you’re unfairly putting two completely different lives and human beings in competition with the other. You do yourself a disservice when you compare yourself. They don’t know the challenges you’ve endured. Your progress does not have to look like anyone else’s. This is your life and you are in control.

3.  Give yourself love- You’re deserving of love and compassion even when you feel like you aren’t enough. Shower yourself with appreciation and love always but especially when you don’t feel good about yourself.  Nothing is inherently wrong with you just because you feel this way. Acknowledging that you are struggling is the first step to transformation. 

Five tips to help you overcome feeling not good enough:

1. Inner Child Work- Inner child work is an opportunity to resolve your childhood emotions and experiences. Go into a quite space and write down all the negative experiences you remember in your childhood. Then reflect on how they may have impacted you by asking yourself; has this experience shaped the way I think about myself now?  When you start to see a direct correlation between not feeling enough and your childhood experiences, you’ll start to see that the way you feel is a narrative that has been taught to you but can be changed. If this work is too much for you, I would suggest seeking help from a therapist who would be able to offer you professional support. 

2. Get intimate with your inner critique- In order to fully understand why you don’t feel good enough, you have to unravel your thoughts. Next time you find yourself not feeling good, interrupt your chain of thought and ask yourself the following; How you are feeling? Why do I feel like this and what triggered those feelings? Then start to think about alternative ways you can look at the problem.

3. Separate yourself from your negative thoughts- When negative thoughts about yourself arise, try to separate yourself from the thoughts you are experiencing. For example; if you feel not good enough say “my thoughts are telling that i’m not good enough”. You will begin to gain better perspective and start to realise that we can change the narrative we tell ourselves. 

4. Mantra- Write down anything that can trigger you into feeling like you’re not good enough. For example; being rejected from an opportunity. Find or create your own affirmations that you can refer to when those feelings arise. Find some comforting words that help you feel good and refer to them when you’re feeling low. 

5. Talk to someone- The hardest thing is going through it alone. Talk to a friend or family member and tell them how you’re feeling. If you need extra help, look for a support group near you or call your GP and ask for to get in contact with a therapist service. 

Questions to you:

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

What advice would you offer a friend who feels like this?

I’d love to hear from you! 

Love, Ash xx

 

Copyright © AshAlves 2019, All Rights Reserved